AUSSERTECH.labz // DAS_STROMKOPF[™]

So you are here already. I didn’t expect you so soon. But now you have found this particular sector[57] inside the AUSSERTECH.labz, i might as well show you around and explain what this is all about. Ready?

First things first, allow me to introduce myself: I am The Borg AUSSERTECH.labz // RECEPTION_BOT (model 0.57b). I have been installed at this location solely to do what i am doing right now. Once you have passed me, the rightful owner and creator of this place will take over and be your friendly host, most of the time.

He, who is called DAS_STROMKOPF, [S]trom[K]opf[ID]entity, or just SKID, humalien.hybrid entity. One of many, but with an integral role in this here organisation, which we call [ AUSSERIRDISCHE :|: TECHNOLOGIE ], or AUSSERTECH, for abbreviation purposes.

Now, let us not waste any more of your or our precious time, because time is of the essence. So say, what can we do for you?

If you seek something very specific, please use the searchmachine! it says “search” on it, so it should be quite obvious to find. In case you do not really know what you want, but have the desire for a certain flavor, let me give you directions how to probably satisfy that need:

See the “menubar” up there? It is a transportation device! It will take you places. Just touch the dial which seems most appropriate to what you are trying to accomplish. If you are uncertain as to whether that very knob will do just as you wish, hold your hand over it, until the matching passage from “DAS_MANUAL™“, written by DAS_STROMKOPF, magically appears. When that happens, just read the enchanted words and be delighted!

For a more in-depth overview of that thing, please RTFM below.

In case you want to complain about our furniture, the lack there of, or the weather, fill out this form. Twice. Please.

And now i have to be excused, there are other duties i need to look after. Have a pleasant time in / on our premises!

Signing off,

AUSSERTECH.labz // RECEPTION_BOT (model 0.57b)

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My personality.core has some faulty programming, so as i try really hard to simulate human behavior, i will not always be successful. Bear with me if it randomly switches to third person mode or gets caught in a loop or if it randomly switches to third person mode. See? Stuff like that happens. A lot.

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I am DAS_STROMKOPF. I made this. This is DAS_MANUAL™. I hope it will be helpful.

• DAS_CORE
  Everything related to everyday activities i participates in, amongst (non-)human companions; or thoughts, which are empathically collected during those activities.
• DAS_SND
  Aural dishes prepared by me for your listening pleasure. Most of it will be what humans call “songs”, or “compositions”, rather. Sometimes it will be noise.
• DAS_SYSLOG
  Weird wordings written by me, generally in his, excuse me, my ever-reoccurring delusional states.
• DAS_VMEM
  Photographic images, taken by me with various photo / video cameras, or cellphones, even. You humans make strange technology!
• STUFF
  All those curious human artifacts, found on Teh Interwebs™ by me. may be related to MUSIC [/*.:::NO_DESCRIPTION_DATA_FOUND:::.*/], FILM [Movies. Moving pictures, where people play other people, which in most cases don't even exist. Still they can't help falling in love. Humans are funny. Also: TV!], GAMING [Computer / video games. Shooting stuff, jumping on / off stuff, collecting stuff. All virtual, yet certainly enjoyable. Or not.], or other kinds of NERDISM [Miscellaneous debris. Art, science, housewares, beverages. Just your everyday junk.]
• MEANWHILE @ TEH INTERWEBS
  WebLinks to more junk other crazy beings spoke their minds about, commented by me.

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Stuff may in cases appear in more than one category, because quite often it is really not that easy to decide...